It’s easy to overlook how much we learn from horses every day. While the mechanics and nuances are the things we tend to notice the most, it’s the less obvious life lessons that stay with us the longest and have the biggest impact.
Confidence
Horses are herd animals, and every herd has a leader. If you don’t provide the leadership, your horse will. I can easily recall a moment when a typically kind lesson horse dragged an unsuspecting rider to the grass for the millionth time until the rider finally realized enough is enough. They found the confidence to tell the horse to knock it off, and the horse listened. Imagine the impact that kind of interaction can have on a timid person, to realize they have the power to control 1,000 pounds of (stubborn) horse. Those kinds of moments build leadership skills. Years of working with horses prepares you to be a kind leader and recognize when to stand up and assert yourself.
Communication
Horses don’t speak our language. They hear our tone of voice and see our actions. Keeping our shoulders back, head tall, and voice strong communicates assertive, but not aggressive, confidence. Speaking with them isn’t about words but meaning what you say with every part of your body and demeanor. Horses show us their boundaries every time we are around them and teach us to communicate ours. How many people could benefit from not only knowing what their personal boundaries are, but also having the confidence to hold those limits tightly and confidently?
Authenticity
Horses don’t care who you are outside of the barn. They do not care how much money you have. They don’t know if you’re popular at school, or up for a promotion at work. Because of this, they give us honest and real time feedback on the version of yourself you’re trying to project. If they feel you’re not being authentic, they won’t put their trust in you. Horses are not worried about yesterday, or tomorrow. They are focused on the moment. On the off chance you are not being present, like focusing on something that happened earlier or getting frustrated about things not going the way you hoped, your horse will be the first to pick up on that. Horses mirror the energy we put out. Even the most even-tempered horse can become unmanageable if you are angry or upset.
Determination
Life with horses is an ongoing test of sheer determination and patience. Rarely does anything at the barn happen according to your timeline. Training, be it for the person or a young horse, takes time. There will be setbacks; some in form of injuries. There will be moments where you question your sanity and want to quit. It’s the love for the horse, and our commitment to see it through that keeps us from bailing when things get tough.
Letting Go
Perhaps the most difficult lesson we can learn from our equine partners is knowing when to move on. Horses and ponies are experts at letting go of yesterday. A month ago, I rode my horse around a farm when a groundhog suddenly came out of a bush. Being the alarmist that he is, my horse came entirely unglued. The sky was falling, the world was ending, and clearly the groundhog was out to kill him. He stayed in panic mode for a couple minutes until some soft talking and refocusing brought him back down. The next time we went out, all was forgotten. No grudge against the bush which hid the groundhog. No panic when another groundhog crossed our path! Sometimes life tosses a “groundhog” under our feet, and we need learn how to keep going. We must learn how to face things again without being haunted by the past.
Horses stretch and push us out of our comfort zones. They teach us to use muscles we never knew existed. We learn to be flexible, be present, be authentic, and to be honest with ourselves and with others around us. They teach us to be the very best version of ourselves. Riding horses is not just a thing you do, it is the very essence of you.
